"Kill Them With Kindness": The Journey of the Founder of 'Snegidhi'

SHE/HER

"Kill Them With Kindness": The Journey of the Founder of 'Snegidhi'

08 NOV 2024

Picture this, living in a society that throws up walls of misunderstanding, a society that struggles to accept your truest self. This is the experience of countless transgender individuals. But from the fires of such hardship rises Ms. Dhanabhakkiyam.

Ms. Dhanabakkiyam, Founder of Snegidhi

Ms.Dhanabhakiyam, a 40-year-old transwoman has overcome significant challenges to achieve great things in her life. Her story serves as a powerful inspiration to many transgender people, demonstrating the resilience and strength of the transgender community.

Ms. Dhanabhakkiyam, born and raised in Thiruvanmiyur, faced a difficult start in life. She lost her mother shortly after birth and was raised by her single father alongside her elder sister. At the age of eight, Ms. Dhanabhakkiyam began exploring her gender identity, questioning what it meant to live as a woman. However, by the time she was 15 and came out as transgender, societal pressures made her feel ostracized and possibly regretful. Ms. Dhanabhakiyam's account of her early life makes clear the depth of pain she endured.

At just 14, she bravely revealed her transgender identity to her family. However, they were unable to accept her truth and ultimately deserted her during a crucial time in her life. As a teenager, this made it incredibly difficult for her to trust anyone or seek help.

Fortunately, she found a group of transwomen who offered her support. They provided her with food and shelter for a few months. However, life remained challenging. At only 15, she was betrayed by another transwoman she trusted, who trafficked her to Mumbai.

She was mistreated by others and ostracized for advocating for the rights of fellow transwomen. Despite the fear and danger, she clung to her life choices with unwavering determination.

Haunted by constant fear, she endured physical and emotional abuse from older transwomen for a significant period. Recalling this, the only words that escaped her lips were, "I have regretted my birth." After seven grueling years, she finally managed to escape, having earned them a substantial sum of 10 lakh rupees.

Source: The American Conservative

In 2003, she returned to South India. The following year, she began working at the Tamil Nadu AIDS Initiative (TAI), an organization dedicated to raising awareness about AIDS. Until 2010, she thrived as a community advisor (CA).

Driven by a desire to help others avoid the hardships she endured; she decided to establish a transgender association in North Chennai alongside other transgender individuals in 2012. Through their combined efforts, their association, aptly named "Snegidhi" (meaning "friend" in Tamil), was finally established on February 13th, 2015. ‘Snegidhi’ plays a vital role in assisting transgender individuals in obtaining essential identification documents like voter IDs and Aadhaar cards. The association enjoys a positive working relationship with the government, furthering their reach and impact. Ms. Dhanabhakiyam serves not only as the founder and director of 'Snegidhi,' but also as a project manager for a YMCA transgender welfare program specifically designed to address the challenges faced by the transgender community in North Chennai. Despite finding peace in her current life, Ms. Dhanabhakiyam acknowledges the persistence of mistreatment towards transgender people. She spoke out about being harassed by individuals even while simply going about her day.

"There's a profound lack of kindness sometimes, people forget that we're human too. It's incredibly challenging to navigate a society that inflicts pain for no reason on transgender individuals simply for being ourselves” she shared.

Ms. Dhanabhakiyam's fervent desire is for people to embrace, respect and allow transgender individuals to live their lives with dignity. Despite the hardships she's endured, she chooses kindness. Her determination and strength are evident in her commitment, even in the face of those who mistreat her. In a way, this unwavering kindness is its own powerful response – a way of "kill them with kindness," as the saying goes.